Is there anything more maddening than being sick and not knowing what you have? Yes, of course there is. Have you read the news? The world is falling apart. But in my selfish life where I only think about myself, trying to self-diagnose is INCREDIBLY annoying.
If you know me at all, you have probably heard me say this phrase: “Me? I never get sick. Got an iron constitution. Rock solid.” I pretty much stand by this statement. Somehow, even though I am not a model citizen to my own body, I manage to stay really healthy. I don’t think I have ever actually gotten the flu and I rarely get the flu shot. If I do feel under the weather, it typically clears up in a couple of days- three days, MAX- and I usually don’t even take medication. Usually, I will just make a killer green smoothie and get on with my life. I tell everyone that this is the secret to my success in not getting sick. Filling out a doctor’s form is a breeze. I have no reoccurring anything. I am not allergic to anything. I have no medical history to speak of. I usually draw a line through that page and just write “No”. Gets the job done.
Which is why what I endured the last 8 days was not only exhausting, but it shook my belief system to the core. It also showed me that our medical professionals don’t really have any idea what they are doing.
Here is an overview of my symptoms in the order they appeared.
Day 1: Runny nose, cough, slight headache.
Day 2: Stuffy nose, sore throat, cough, slight headache.
Day 3: Stuffy nose, sore throat, tongue blisters, laryngitis, for realzies headache.
Day 4: Fully blocked nasal cavity, multiple blisters on my tongue, complete inability to speak above a whisper, difficulty swallowing, major sinus headache.
Day 5: I am a full-blown mouth breather, no sense of smell or taste, my tongue feels like I chewed broken glass, my throat feels like I swallowed broken glass, there is no speaking. I work from home and go on vocal rest.
Day 6: Vocal rest was a failure as I still have no voice. My tongue feels better though! Maybe I’m finally coming out of this.
Day 7: My orbital and jaw bone are swollen and throbbing. My skull feels like there is not enough room in there.
Day 8: I vow to not rest until I get answers. I would cry but it hurts my face too bad.
I didn’t seek medical assistance until day 4. Being pregnant, I knew that my medication options were limited and I did not want to hear the doctor say “ugh, unfortunately I can’t give you that since you are pregnant. Just drink lots of liquids and try to rest up!” And that is exactly what she did say. I ran some of my ideas by her to see if we could get a real diagnosis going. “Well, I haven’t spiked a fever so I don’t think it’s strep, and my mucus and snot are clear so I think it’s just allergies.” “Oh yeah?” She said, as she was clearly doing something else and not listening. “No, allergies don’t give you laryngitis. You probably have some kind of viral infection, so all you can do is let it run its course.”
Just some kind of viral infection, guys. No need to look into it or treat it or understand what it is or tell me the types of viral infection it could be or warn me if it’s contagious or if it will harm my son or unborn child. Just your run of the mill viral infection that attacks your vocal chords and nose and tongue and ruin your life. Good news is that I can have Robitussin! I’m really hoping that this will help.
You can go ahead and scroll up to look at day 5 and see how that worked out for me.
During this time, I decide that the internet will tell me exactly what I had. This is when I realize that my computer is truly trying to learn who I am. ALL of my searches with symptoms immediately take me to parenting magazines and talk about what to do if my toddler has it. For a few days, I was convinced that I had Hand, Food and Mouth disease. Maybe I’m a rare case of a full-grown adult with HFM and they can take me in for further studying to save other adults. The problem there is that my hands and feet were just fine… for now.
Then I experience the dark side of WebMD. How is WebMD still a website? The “show me on the doll where you hurt” must be the most out of date technology on the internet. Chest region and head? You have cancer. Or a sun burn. None of this is helpful.
It’s not until my face started hurting that I start getting somewhere. I find that sinus infections, SOMETIMES CAUSED BY ALLERGIES (thank you very much, Doctor No-its-not-allergies) can sometimes infect your vocal chords and, if untreated, can infect your orbital and jaw bone. Yahtzee. It hadn’t gotten to the point where my eyes were swollen and my mouth got infected but I wasn’t going to let it get worse. I stormed into the Urgent Care, figurative guns a-blazin and demanded answers or a prescription before I would leave. I either said that or cried and said “help me!” I don’t remember. But the vindication came when she AGREED with my self-diagnosis and gave me Z-pack. “It should be safe to take while you’re pregnant, but let me just check,” she said as she pulled up Google on her phone. Comforting.
And on the 9th day, I started to feel better. I had never been so happy to wake up and speak normally as well as breathe out of both nostrils. I missed my good health and vowed to appreciate it daily. Personal health is probably one of the most overlooked privileges we have. There are people who are chronically ill and struggle for years to find a diagnosis and treatment for things far worse than a sinus infection, and I am so grateful that I have yet to endure that. I told myself to wake up every morning and count my blessings and include one for my health.
Now, a week later, I’m admittedly behind on that promise. In fact, I’ve basically forgotten everything. A coworker now has similar symptoms. I looked at him with pure empathy, knowing the battle in front of him. “Try drinking a green smoothie,” I said. “I drink them everyday and I never get sick.”
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