Fresh-Faced

MHi! It’s September which means it’s my birthday month which means I’m riddled with anxiety and self-loathing so let’s just get right into last months challenge, SHALL WE!

Challenge: No Make-Up

Rules: No cosmetic make-up whatsoever. No foundation, no blush, no lipstick, no eye shadow. I’m gonna be honest I did sometimes apply ONE layer of mascara because without it I feel completely invisible and eyelashes are technically hair so it’s pretty much just haircare.  Other than that, I was a fresh-faced as they come. Cut me some slack, Jack!

Why I Cut it Out: Let’s be real: it wasn’t until very recently that I feel like I KINDA figured out how to apply make-up properly. Despite raising 3 daughters, my mom never actually taught me how to wear make-up. In fact, I wasn’t allowed to wear it until my senior year in High School and that’s only because I would just gradually applying blue or purple eye shadow on overtime until my mom gave in. It was also a simpler time, the late 90’s. There was no Instagram or Facebook reminding you that you weren’t pretty enough. No YouTube make-up tutorials showing you how to contour your face. Hell, did people even do contouring back then? This was a time when *most* teenagers actually looked like teenagers. So, only applying sparkly eye shadow and some mascara to go out was all I needed to do. I was also kind of blessed to have relatively good skin with only the occasional breakout. Finally, I am a very frugal person and buy most of my make-up at grocery stores. I have almost no brand loyalty and will try just about anything with a coupon.

So how did this non-event make it to the #OneLessThing list? Fast forward 18 years (dear God) and I’ve finally grown into my womanhood. Working in professional environments, I always felt the need to dress… professionally. Make-up is just part of the uniform if you are wearing pantsuits and pencil skirts to the office. I never understood when women would show up to the office in a beautiful dress, heels, accessories without a lick of make-up and wet hair. Girl, get it together! Finish the job!

It’s also no secret that post-college, I fluctuated with weight pretty regularly. I was a light as 125 and as heavy as 160 (and that’s BEFORE getting pregnant). In my heavier days, I felt like the only way I felt attractive was to wear make-up. It was like a protective layer for me. You would think that reaction would subside once I lost weight (ironically after I had kids), but it actually was the opposite. Once I felt like I was in the shape that I wanted, I had this need to be seen as attractive. I couldn’t walk around with giant bags under my eyes and tiny, unlacquered lashes just flapping about. I needed people to see me and think “wow”. Even short trips outside the house were usually equipped with the basics of foundation and mascara. I just felt so dull without it.

When I put this list together at the beginning of the year, I knew I had to address this ugly side of myself that felt the need to be pretty all of the time. So, on the list, it went.

The Results: When people would ask me what I was giving up in August and I said “Make-up”, 9/10 times, the response was “In AUGUST? When it’s hot and you’ll be sweaty?”  I didn’t really think of the sweaty part as much as the I’ll be all bronzed up from the sun part. And that bet paid off! With all of the triathlon training I have done outside, I’ve established a nice little baseline glow (YES I’m using sunscreen. I’m Mexican. All of my melanin just rises to the surface when the sun is out.) Also, it felt great to not wear foundation as my face turned bright red and sweaty from these outdoor runs in 90-degree heat. When I used to work out at the end of the day, I would finish up looking like a college chick leaving a packed club at 2am; smudged eyeliner, rosy cheeks, raccoon eyes from mascara. Now I just look like the Kool-aid man after my runs! Pure red but no bags.

Another great outcome was the time I got back in the morning. What a true blessing an extra 30 minutes can be when your life is as chaotic as mine. I got to spend more cuddle time with my babies, actually make breakfast at home instead of alienating my coworkers with my microwave eggs, and spend my time planning my day instead of worrying about how I looked. I was sure that I would spend more time on my hair and outfits to overcompensate, but as it turns out, you let one thing go and you start to let other things go, too. Washing my hair more? Pssshh. I’d rather keep sleeping. When I did wash it I just let it air dry. (PSA to guys reading this and getting grossed out, real women know that taking a shower and washing your hair are different things.)

One insecurity going into this month was that I wouldn’t have anything to hide my complexion. While I never had acne growing up, postpartum hormones are the gift that keeps on giving and they left me with re-occurring breakouts, specifically on my cheeks. The other PPA heirloom is compulsive skin picking, so I would aggravate the situation by trying to pop each pimple or blackhead upon its earliest appearance. How was I going to hide that if I didn’t have any cover-up? I decided to be proactive before August came and really stepped up my skincare routine, which included having a skincare routine! Remember, I’m frugal, so I never really invested in expensive face washes, scrubs, or serums. That didn’t change, but I did start buying peeling face masks. What an experience. These face masks don’t just look like you are peeling off a thin layer of your own skin, they feel like you are peeling off a layer of your own skin. Not exactly the self-care Sunday I was looking for, but Sheet Masks felt great and made me look like a precious angel baby when I was done.

The irony is that all it took to really clear up my skin was to STOP WEARING MAKE UP. Turns out, when you only buy grocery store foundation and use that to cover up acne on your face, you make it worse! Being free from all of that, I feel like my skin is clearer than it has been in years.

So, what did you learn? Of all the things I have abstained from this year, this had the most positive impact on me. I once heard someone say “It’s important to remember that people don’t think about you as much as you think they do”. It’s humbling and completely true. Guess what? Not one person gave a single shit that I didn’t have make-up on.  The more I realized that I was wasting time and energy on something that didn’t matter to anyone else that matters, it felt so freeing to have it out of my life.

The last few days of this challenge were during my best friends’ wedding weekend, and what a weekend it was. Planned in a quick 5 weeks, she had the bachelorette party two days before the wedding. I had actually stopped wearing make-up at the end of July so that I could technically be make-up free for 30 days and done in time for the Bachelorette party, but when the day came around, I had no desire to put it on.

“So don’t,” a girlfriend said, with equal parts apathy and encouragement.

I didn’t. And we dressed up in our cute outfits and sailor hats, drank wine and martini’s, ate empanadas and laughed until our sides hurt. I can’t remember the last time I felt so much like myself.  I can’t remember being so comfortable in my own skin. My bare, fresh skin.

2 weeks into September and I’ve only worn make-up once. Except for mascara. Gotta keep up with my hair care routine.

*Note* The featured picture is from that wedding weekend. I was on the floor, sometime after attempting to do the worm and singing Matchbox 20 at the top of my lungs while my friends passed out on each other. Beaming with happiness.