I am going to be honest. I almost didn’t publish this blog. I almost didn’t even write this blog. Why? I donno. My #oneless thing efforts just feel so… 2019. But, a deal’s a deal, so here is the conclusion of my year of selected abstinence.
Challenge: Not Buying Anything!
The Rules: There are MANY caveats to this one. The main guideline was that I could not spend money on THINGS outside of the basic necessities from the grocery store. I wasn’t allowed to do any Christmas shopping unless I was making someone food (which I didn’t even end up doing). I didn’t intend on including going out to eat but I ended up cutting this out drastically as well.
Why I Cut it Out: I have a complex relationship with shopping. For the most part, I am a very frugal person. I will stretch a dollar as far as it can go. Once I dropped my Blackberry and cracked it so badly that the only function that worked was the Voice Activation feature. That’s it. I couldn’t even answer calls when they came in. I used that phone for a good month after that before getting a new one. Discount Fashion Warehouse is my JAM. I have rarely paid full price for anything. I am the person who says “We have food at home” in most situations that include food.
For some reason, I have always been worried about going bankrupt. I almost typed “being poor” but there were definitely times in my life where I was just that! My first job was working for public television which paid so little it felt like I owed the station money each week. I had no real idea how to handle my budget and on many occasions, I had absolutely no money in my account. One day, my gas tank was on empty and I didn’t have enough money to fill it up. Even the loose change I had wouldn’t have gotten me to work. Too far to walk and too complicated to take mass transit, I actually had to call in sick for work until I got paid the next day. That’s right. I was too poor to go to work. (Side note: I retold this story to a coworker who thinks it’s the funniest thing she has ever heard. She laughs much harder than needed to, actually, but it’s probably because I’ve clearly come a long way since then).
This should make abstaining from shopping easy, right? Wrong. Though I can go for long periods of time without shopping for myself, I definitely fall victim to retail therapy. Sometimes, there is just no better feeling than trying on a beautiful dress and having it fit perfectly. Where am I going to wear said dress? I’ll figure that out later, thankyouverymuch. Inevitably, buyers remorse kicks in and all of a sudden, I feel like I’m 22 years old, scrounging for loose change just to get to work. I don’t even spend a lot of money on myself, but I’ll stew over a $40 purchase for weeks.
December is clearly the most expensive month of the year. Not only is there Christmas shopping to consider, but it always feels like a new opportunity for me to buy dresses that I won’t ever wear. With a tighter budget than usual and a closet with too much cocktail attire in it for a 36-year-old, I decided to abstain from shopping.
The Results: You guys. This was the most GENIUS idea! I’m really proud of myself for coming up with it, actually. It’s important to remember that I had planned this beforehand, which is necessary because otherwise, I would have just been the jerk that didn’t have any gifts for anyone because of BLOG. You may think that is a cop-out but in reality, it forced me to actually think about what people wanted and not just what was available for me to buy them. I really tried to get gifts that were more personal in nature, even for my children. When you have young kids, Christmas can become a commercial nightmare. There is a premium price on your kid’s happiness. Thankfully, my kids are young enough to have very low expectations. I bought things throughout the year that I thought they would like and made an effort to get a lot of things secondhand for the more “mainstream” items. Looking back at it now, I probably overspent on them, especially when I see how much time they are still spending in JUST the cardboard boxes…
There were a few people that I didn’t get a chance to buy for before December 1st, and those people became the lucky recipients of my CRAFTING. Am I great at it? No. Do I do it anyway? You betcha. My sister-in-law got some last-minute coasters made from scrap paper and old tiles. It took 10 minutes, which sounds thoughtless, but she’s moving into a new place and the paper reminded me of a fern tree she has, so it actually turned out great.
For my mom, I printed out pictures from our Sister trip to Ireland. They were on tiles as well and meant to be coasters, but she insisted on finding a way to hang them because she didn’t want anyone to put their wet glasses on her daughters’ faces. Fair enough.
My brother got some Modge Podge artwork from quotes I found on Tumblr from his favorite show Bojack Horseman. I got some canvas frames, colored them with a permanent marker, dripped rubbing alcohol over it, and painted it with a watercolor brush. Then I added the pictures and glazed the crap out of them. The results were lackluster IMO but the reaction from my brother was priceless. He looked truly touched. I mean, I do what I can, ya know?
Overall, there was nothing but upsides to this challenge. Was it easy? No, not at all. It felt like all social media and email providers were conspiring against me with the constant emails and notifications. “Psst. Hey. You there. I know you’ve been looking at this sweater. You know what? I never do this but for YOU? 20% off today, what do ya say!” On the other hand, not spending money means avoiding the mall in the month of December, which actually felt like the best gift I could have given to myself. I didn’t even take my kids to see Santa. Judge me.
Look, the holidays are hard. Somehow, what should be the most gracious time of year becomes a month-long comparison with other people and even yourself. It’s the time of year that we look back and see where we are and how far we’ve come, and that’s not always a good thing. I feel like I have spent most of this year comparing my life now to how it used to be and really weighing if I’m better off or not. At least with this challenge, I didn’t have to include Stuff and Things to that comparison.
Here’s what I know for sure: The best gifts ARE from the heart. My oldest son, whos is 1000% made of my DNA, also took to crafting. He found popsicle sticks and used tape and markers to create something for just about anyone. On my mantel, I still have a Spanish fan from my wedding day. He made me another one out of popsicle sticks. I could have died from fulfillment.
The little things. There was never anything bigger.
In conclusion, we did it, guys. Rather, I did it. I really gave up one thing each month this year. So what does it all mean? What did I learn?
Find out next week.
DailyDebs 