I am a very skeptical person. Call it a byproduct of working in recruitment (or HUMAN CAPITAL MANAGEMENT as I like to say when I’m trying to sound like what I do is important, but also, professional human trafficking). I have trust issues with people, especially those that I only really know intimately through my Facebook feed. Are you really having that much fun with your kids right now? Is your husband really your best friend? Did you really eat that entire sub and still have that rocking body (#youdidnoteatthat) It’s not a secret that we usually post the lives that we WANT to have and only sometimes post the lives we REALLY have. I feel like I’m pretty good at taking people’s post with a grain of salt. But there’s one social media movement that I am both scared of and yet, so intrigued by: MLMers.
Multi-Level Marketers.
For those of you who don’t know, Multi-Level Marketing is referral marketing where the company gets consumers to become distributors and they end up being the ones that sell the product or service. It’s also known as a Pyramid Scheme, but don’t tell them that, unless you want a highly impassioned lecture on how it is NOT a pyramid scheme, ok? Other companies, yes, but the one that THEY work for is totally legit and he can show you exactly how much money he has made and not spent working for this company. (Oh, that’s right. I said he. Were you picturing a woman? Lean in, people.)
This sales tactic is nothing new. There’s a good chance someone older in your family either bought or sold Mary Kay or Avon. There’s even one in Edward Scissorhands! What is new is the use of social media to reach a larger audience. As a huge consumer of social media, these posts, requests, and party invites have officially taken up 33% of my feed.
Before we go further, let me just say to the people I know that engage in these sales: Good for you. Good. For. You. You’re getting after it, working that side hustle, putting yourself out there in a way that you never have before, in ways that really get you out of your comfort zone. I *sincerely* applaud that. For realsies.
But the thing is this:
What…. happened to you? Somewhere in the time when you weren’t selling something online to when you starting selling something online, it’s like a bot has taken over your status update. I have never seen a group of people who have never used the word AMAZING before all of a sudden start working for an AMAZING opportunity. And don’t get me started on emojis. Oh, the emojis. Some of these people have never even posted a status update before and suddenly their news feeds mirror holography from ancient Egypt.
When I see these posts written in a way that just seems so… contrived, I start to distrust this whole thing. I just want to privately message these people and say “send me a ghost emoji if this company is forcing you to say these things.” I’m just looking out for their safety. My hunch is that once you sign up, you get an email sent to you with a bunch of pre-written messages that you can update your status with. Am I close? Someone comment with a carrier pigeon emoji if I’m close.
Now, not all MLM’s are created equal. Sometimes, it does Work. It might make Sense to get that lip gloss. I get why they are successful. Here’s what I also know: I am not your target audience. I am not a Stuff and Things kind of person. You’re not likely find anyone more frugal than me. When my battery dies on the remote, I just watch the same channel. Before HDTV, I would just get off the couch and manually change the channels. I did this for months. Either that, or I would just watch DVD’s, until that battery wore out, too.
One time, my phone was so old and so damaged that the only thing I could do was answer incoming calls or use Voice Command. It was an old Blackberry in one of the first iterations of smart phones. If I missed your call, I couldn’t call you back or even text you to tell you that I couldn’t call you back. I would have to use Voice Command and that woman never knew what I was trying to say. (“Call Mom” “Calling Paul” “NO! DON’T CALL PAUL!” “Voicemail”) I made this phone work for another 6 weeks before getting a new one.
I don’t wear lipstick. I hardly wear jewelry. My ears aren’t even pierced. I eat enough fruit and vegetables on my own, so I don’t need that supplement. 95% of my makeup comes from grocery stores. I have never purchased clothes on the internet that have ever looked good on me. I had enough “accountability” in my first recruiting job so I don’t need a group of strangers telling me to do more squats. My kids have enough books. Printed leggings make me look like Brittney Murphy post make over in Clueless. So, unless you start selling a taco and tequila delivery service, I’m probably not going to buy from you. And it’s not you! It’s me. You’re great. I’m the curmogen with naked ears and terrible fashion choices. It’s my fault, not yours.
A big reason that smart and intelligent people join these companies is they actually believe in the product. I get that. I’m basically paying Michael Kors to advertise his purse. Same thing with my Honda CRV. We’re all walking advertisements at this point. So, I can see the slippery slope from being a consumer to becoming a distributor. I have also seen people actually become successful doing it. I’ve met a girl who earned the Mary Kay car at 22 years old. I went to college with a girl who earned the $10K bonus at another MLM. For some people, these emjois are making them serious :money emoji: It’s just that I am not really a person who believes in products.
Until I started using DailyBurn.
OH SNAP! I TOTALLY SNAKED YOU INTO READING THIS WHOLE POST AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I WAS GOING TO SELL YOU SHIT! Now THAT’S how it’s done, people!
Ok ok though, real quick, Dailyburn is an awesome work out app that I started using when I had my 2nd baby and I lost all the baby weight and then some and now I still use it to maintain this mediocre physique while battling post-partum anxiety. I use it enough that they asked me to be an ambassador. I don’t have to recruit people to join my team. I don’t have to ever update any statuses if I don’t want to. But…
If you want to try it out, use my promo code and they’ll throw me a very small, almost insignificant kick back for it.
One more time in case you missed it: http://bit.ly/2sTnrlg
The first month is free then it’s $13 a month with no contracts or obligation. I have used many programs on it for different fitness goals. My current program has work outs all under 35 minutes so I can do them at lunch in our company gym. I am literally the person that doesn’t have time to work out and yet I make time to work out, thanks to good ole DB.
THERE! That’s it! That’s all I wanted to say and now we can all come back together and unite in our irritation of getting invited to these damn Jamberry parties.
Seriously though… enough with the Jamberry.
DailyDebs 