It’s OFFICIALLY summer, you guys! Yes, I know, it became summer on June 21st but if you live in the mid-west like I do, it really hasn’t felt like FULL BLOWN summer since the beginning of July when it finally became hot enough to complain about the weather. This is when most people do fun things outdoors like go to a pool, ride bikes, host a BBQ or vacation at a lake house. So many outdoor activities! But if you’re a lonely person like me without too many local friends, this is the time of year known as BEST TV EVER. Handmaids Tale is out. Big Little Lies is back. Stranger Things just dropped. Barry season 2! Even Dateline has new episodes. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!
Which is why I decided to continue to deprive challenge myself of one of the loves of my life…
Challenge: No TV!
Rules: Nothing from a personal television by myself, except for the Women’s World Cup matches because sports are interactive and I’m a feminist. Movies at a theater were allowed but only with the kids. This only happened once to see Toy Story 4 (9/10 would recommend).
Why I Cut it Out: I’ve known I needed to do this for quite sometime. I was talking to coworkers a while back and someone was asking for suggestions for their next binge-worthy show.
“Have you seen Orange is the New Black?” someone asked
“No. Is that the prison show?”
“Yes and it’s SO GOOD!” I chimed in. “If you’re into true crime, you should watch Making a Murderer first. I was HOOKED on that one.” Everyone agreed.
“If you want to do something light-hearted, I’d suggested Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Or even Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee! We started watching Glow last week but haven’t gotten back into since Westworld came back on. But I also need to catch up on The Good Place.”
By this point, no one else was talking.
“How do you possibly have time to watch all this television?” someone asked. All eyes were on me.
“Oh, well, you know, just after the kids go to bed and stuff. And a little on the weekend, too.” I changed the subject to books to try to make myself sound like more than just a lazy pile of house cats, but this made me think. How DO I have all this time to watch TV? It felt like I was always looking for more time in the day to get things done but I also made time to cruise through House of Cards and Ozark in under a month. I definitely had the time to do things that are more constructive, I just didn’t WANT to do those things.
Here’s the other thing: I don’t have a TV in my room. I haven’t had that since 2006. I generally try to keep all electronics out of my room so that way when I get in bed, I actually go to sleep. The giant loophole to this problem is that I just end up doing the same thing on the couch. I’ll make myself a little blanket nook and cozy on up till the thought of moving sounds miserable. I end up staying up way too late in hopes that I’ll just pass out on the couch if I watch one more episode but I rarely do.
Finally, if you couldn’t tell from my above list, I watch a lot of anxiety-filled shows! I still have not recovered from the Season 2 opener of Hand Maid’s Tale. I also binged Haunting at Hill House at NIGHT. Not since my teenage years had I had nightmares that would scare me awake and prohibit me from moving, but that month, I was paralyzed with fear.
So, giving up TV, in theory, should have forced me to go to sleep earlier, reduce anxiety, and have less “screen time”.
The Results: False. It did not do those things. Turns out your phone is a pretty additive device, as I wrote about earlier, and that really scratched the itch of zoning out. So while I did a great job of not turning on my television and missing the Premier of Big Little Lies (NO SPOILERS!), I fell into the internet suckhole that is the Instagram discover page. I also got really into Pinterest again and started/engaged in many group chats.
Why was I doing these things? Shouldn’t I have just taken that time to sit in silence or meditate or even read one of those books everyone keeps talking about? Yeah, that was the plan. The problem is that for so long, I have only had a solid 1.5-2 hours MAX to myself every day (Have kids, they said. It will be great, they said). Once those lil guys go down, Mama needs some ME TIME. And since I only have about 5 braincells left at the end of the day and have spent half my quality time with my kids cleaning and cooking, the only thing I had energy to do was watch TV. It became my favorite thing because unlike half my meals, I didn’t have to share it with my kids. No one is trying to sit on my lap. No one else is talking to me. Its just me and all my pretend friends on the screen. Without TV, I still found the brainless distraction of my phone soothing, which basically meant it was my baby TV.
“So, what did you learn?”: First, I should clarify that I wasn’t ALWAYS playing on my phone at night. A lot of times, it paved the way for me to make plans and get out of the house. I also did do some cleaning and organization that I would have otherwise put off for the next day. Second, it also helped me to not rush bedtime with my kids. My youngest is a HUGE cuddler and nights when I put him down, he demands a very specific 3-7 minutes of cuddling. I would find myself being really tempted by a glass of wine and some murder mysteries and tell him “OK! Time’s up!” before it really was. That month, since there was only laundry to fold or a kitchen clean, I’d let myself stay there until he really fell asleep. So precious.
Third, I will always find a loophole. Can’t drink? I’ll eat some ice cream. Can’t have sugar? I’ll have a stiff drink. No TV? IGTV doesn’t count, does it? This whole “discipline” challenge has really thought me that everyone needs a way to blow steam and those destructive behaviors will manifest itself somehow. The goal for the rest of the year is to TRULY focus on being mindful and allow myself to feel the abstinence of the things I have given up.
After I finish catching up on Handmaids Tale.
Next up: MEATS!
DailyDebs 